They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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