I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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