I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
