Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
