the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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