there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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