in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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