Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
