I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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