Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
