they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
