oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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