and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
