she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We are all done wearing pants today
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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