i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
