i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
