"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
