then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
