I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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