Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
