We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
