i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm just crazy horny about you
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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