you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
