he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
