you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
