Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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