32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
