I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
