im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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