Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
