i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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