Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
