genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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