I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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