There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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