Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
