Rock
Scissors
Fuck
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
