i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
