Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
