Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
