"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
