1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he shaved USA in his pubs
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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