for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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