How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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