so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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