how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
