That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
