Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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