She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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