I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
