Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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