You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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