Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
